new beginnings

I moved to canberra almost 2 weeks ago. I thought it would be a fresh start and in a way it is but I hate it.

I'm miserable and I'm isolated.
I know no-one and I have nothing to do.

I miss my friends, I miss my life.

I hate it here.

Bleed My Love

Bleed my love
You know how
Make your flesh divide

Hurt my love
You know how
Make the pain your life

Drown my love
You know how
Suffocate in tears

Cry my love
Silent screams
Screams that no-one hears

Fall my love
You know how
Lose all that you have earned

Die my love
You don't know how
But you can always learn

I miss you

Laying in a cold hotel room
I stare at the white walls
Shadows play in corners as the light flickers
For a moment I see your face
A single tear runs down my cheek
And suddenly I can't breathe
Maybe I should follow you
Maybe I should lay still and wait
For my body to become a corpse
The tears flow freely now

But still I can't breathe

never the one you want to let in...

You've been here before...

This is no secret to your body

No secret to your mind

Forbidden touch that reverberates through your fingertips

Forbidden emotion that turns your vision from pale grey to vibrant red

Loving me

Wanting me

Needing me

This infatuation u have with me

This dangerous, intoxicating addiction

I am the ghost you can never describe

I make you feeli like living

I make u wish to die

I am everything you want but will never understand

You keep your distance from everyone but me

This is perilous ground

I'm not the one you want to trust

I will never be the one it's safe to let in...

Another Mutilation

I got my belly pierced yesterday. One of my friends is doing her apprenticeship there so she did it, and laughed when I flinched at the clamps. But it was fun, I'm gonna do the other 3 sides too.

My daddy says I'm mutilating myself, I don't want to see his face when I get a tattoo!

It's sometime after 1am and I can't sleep again.
I'm supposed to be up at 6am. I don't think I will be unless I'm still awake.

If only I was stoned.

xx

So I guess I should Introduce Myself

I am Ryn Rhetoric

I am like no-one you've ever met.

I am an Internet Whore
I am bipolar
I am depressed
I am obsessive
I am somewhat psychotic
I am promiscuous
I am an insomniac

And I am honest

I'm here to write about the world and myself.

I am here to make a mark!

I want to be famous.

I'm one of those girls who own 13 pairs of jeans and never knows where they are.

I have an obsession with glitter.

I don't act nice before my coffee.

I take too many photos of myself.

I'm ridiculously vain.

I live a little to vicariously.

I smoke in the shower.

and I smile when I want to cry.

xx